Reflection of Iscariot...

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who is the beast staring back at me ?
Screaming voices come pouring in,
I am looking at myself
No comforting words
To wash out the horror
In which I see
So directly
Memories are too overwhelming to me
Close my eyes and wish to hide away
The face of eternity
The face I see
No comforting words
To wash out the horror
In which I see
So directly
Ghosts are passing by me
Through what I see
The past haunting the burnt skin which lay upon me
Shut my eyes and hope it to go away
A mask vastly stitched to cover the hate
That is placed inside
This mirror is a gaze of black marble
I watch myself knowing not what I am
My heart looks so hollow through these glass fixture eyes
Behind me I see devils hiding in the shadow
They resemble me
Looking closely
Darkness pulls me down
I take a knife within my hands
Beg of me to shed this monsters skin
Piercing the knife within me
I tare away all hope and serenity
The face of a girl I once knew haunts me
Dancing all around me
Making scribbles all over my mind
I am confused of which identity belong to me
I am drowning In my own reflection
Relating to all those tears I once shed
Along the shore of grief
Yet It starts to fade but another image of a man appears
Is this me
Or someone I once knew
Or someone I do know
Fear conquers over me
Shedding blood I fall
I want to stop
Destroy what I see
Words park over me
Hateful words that crash and thunder upon me
Hard like kids throwing rocks
Monster I am
Cut my heart from within throwing it away
Blood splashes across the mirror
I am unsure if it is mine or a beasts
Who am I ?
Screaming out a monster unleashed
The skin is no longer attached to my fiercely graved body
Which lay lifeless
By thy monsters evil reflection
No comforting words
To wash out the horror
In which I see
So directly
The silent Immortal death of someone who I use to be………

The Obituary

He was a man

Who waylaid

The weathered steps

Of the staircase

Winding down to hell.

He was a man

So very shriveled,

He looked long judged

And proven chaste.

He was a man of Age.

He hummed a little,

Before crying again

He lay splayed

With his vessel

That jarred to jingle

With rusted coins

And finally disappeared

One day soon.

But cling he did

To his place there

Through the dawn

And night after.

Nobody knew when

Last he breathed.

He was a man

But a man long dead.

An obituary rested

On that weathered step,

As a non-existent,

Reverent absence.

And the concave silence

Of the voices that claim

Their blessings that he

May rest in peace.

But who needed them

His life would say…

The life that never

Asked for much.

He had been tested

And proven chaste,

So god bestowed

Him with the taste

Of the hell in life

As a life in hell…

So he may never lose

His way after death…

Rhapshody of the Shadows....

Gazing at the darkened sky

the nameless shapes and the darkness around

I love this beauty; there’s no Why

It’s hidden charms and distant sounds.

I love the Shadows

I love this darkness

this quiet nocturnal sensuality

I love the Shadows

I love this caress

by its cool mysterious subtlety

It’s Black all around

Black- the unknown Invisible

the color of the Unexposed

the alluring beauty of the Unexplored

It’s the expression of pure silence

the essence of the Abstract;

It’s the ever-beckoning beauty of some untraceable ache.

Black-the Ultimatum of the Universe

-It’s the deepest point beneath

the Ocean yet unsighted-

-The farthest corner of the spiralling galaxy

with unending attraction

but too distant for revelation

-It’s the unfathomable depth

of the Intensity in Your eyes-

-It’s the deepest dark secret

in the most private layers of the mind-

-It’s the unasked question within

whose answer I seek

not knowing yet where again

as I trudge through empty rooms…

Bathed in the black of the midnight

I watch the shadow stealing the lights

But I love this Shadow

I love this blackness

and its seducing blanket of solitude

Every being’s become a shadow at this hour

-and it’s my time of seclusion from the world

from all its insincerity and rotten pretence

the exhibition of the so-called ‘selflessness’.

It’s my time to devote to my passions

When I can be my own naked Self, laid bare

for an orgasm with my deepest emotions.

-away from the shallow laughs

and silly ways of ‘social’ men

their grinning teeth flashed to hide the bland, sceptical eyes;

eager to widen the circle of silly social ties.

So I love the Shadows

I love the nights like hell.

I need it to salvate my seething insides from screaming.

This is the time

-when the sapphire glows its most breathtaking blue-

-when a song from my lips resounds the most beautiful tune

When the stark gets overcome by the soulful-

And to let loose the most primitive,

Most blatant expressions of mine

From its rueful self-imposed bind.

In these Shadows

It’s time to vent out the strange ecstacy

At realizing the glory of existence

I could fight with my life and yet succeed;

That’s the absolute joy of being me.

In these Shadows

It’s again, my Undeniable hour

to unleash the Rage within:

At myself and the sleeping earth

For this lone existence in a hypocritical world.

And I love the Shadows

I just love this darkness

It’s my secret haunt,

My precious retreat

as needed as the Air I breathe…

I love the Shadows…

You Invoked the Beast in Me.....

An ice shard impales my heart,

When I hear your voice,
I can taste the cold metal,
I smell the oozing blood,
Pain splitting my sanity apart.

In the past I do remember,
Seeing you in another light,
Life was rosy back then,
I had learnt to love,
Myself soul less I had to render.

You tried to trick me,
Taking me to the fangs of death,
You thought that I had died,
But I was reborn from my ashes,
A beast had awakened in me.

I shall love till death do us part,
I had proclaimed once to you,
I find it hard to forget now,
Fear shadowing your smiling face,
While I carefully ripped it apart.

You invoked the beast in me,

My Vengeance and vendetta,Have played their part well,
I broke the chains and shackles that had me held,
Only to kill my humanity; and forever set myself free.

Strive for Excellence

The motto of our school, ‘Nihil Ultra-Nothing beyond’ was created by Father E.O’Niell, one of the first Rectors of St. Xavier’s.

The few lines I am going read out to you were written in Latin for the benefit of our students, past, present and the future.

 

“ Nihil Ultra,quam nobilis vite ambisio !

In me semper – melioris operis stadium,

Semper majoris perfectionis desiderium.

    Deo placetat ut omni tempore excellentiam persequar

Perfectum nihilist aliquid dum restat agendum”

 

Allow me to translate this text for you  for those among us who are not well versed in Latin.

 

“Nothing beyond, what a noble life-ambition!

  It stirs in me a quest for ever better goal,

  A longing for ever greater growth.

  Through God’s blessing may I always shine for excellence ;

  Nothing is perfect, as long as anything remains to be done.  "

 

Hypothermia...

There's an everlasting winter in my heart,

The blizzard refuses to subside,

Freezing my innards,

Till all senses die.

Frostbites benumb my soul,

Anger long suppressed in my veins,

Seeks to break free,

But finds itself in chains.

Love to me is a foreign word,

Never uttered here,

Hatred so prevalent,

Amongst the rampant fear.

Redemption now is impossible,

To wade back through the river,

When I am halfway though,

These thoughts leave me in a shiver.

When the scarlet drops crystallise,

Shudders become spasmic,

The mind loses the power of thought,

Hypothermia sets in .

Three stanzas inspired by life....

                                  

Love is a trick,

That often causes in the heart; a prick 

A wound there bleeds silently,

Fated never to heal.

Dreams are  illusions,

Slowly drawing the reality to its death,

While the curtains of the day close

Over a barren heath.

Fame is a fickle friend,

It finds new takers.

With every passing trend.

Leaving the previos owner.

In the shadow of the obsolete...