Some Kind of Monster

Suspended in Time

Those moments lie

For She never returned

Leaving me to fade away in bleak midwinter.

Still waiting,

Wishing I was dead

Desperate to forget

Unable to focus on what lay ahead.

Breathing in vacuum

Struggling to exist,

Memories tormenting my sanity ,

Making me clench my fist.

Emotions are numb

Insides sore,

I knew the hour had come

I couldn't take it anymore.

My transformation had begun.

I could no longer carry dead weight,

In the wake of suffocation

My Allegiances had shifted.

During this forsaken hour,

I built my armor.

Forged in the fires of rage

Empowered by anathema.

My only objective faces me,

To tell her...

Should I ever meet her again,

"Come witness thy creation"

"Behold in front of you it stands. "

A Wraith perhaps- a pallid specter

A potent variant of

'Some Kind of Monster'

Harakiri

A glistening blade,

An invitation to a different world,

Away from the anguish,a relief to the ailing heart,

A drug to the incurable infirmity called life

Just a little courage,

A few final moments of pain;

The last wound that i shall ever recieve,

With the promise of eternal relief.

For the last time i recollect some dearest faces,

Some whiz pass in a moment,

some seem to last for ages,

But all along one figure remains unfaded,

The one face that makes me smile n cry,

The face of my beloved.

Now that I look back at all those moments,

When I'd so fondly feared death;

It feels so strange,

How feelings change,

Fear n fancy are a matter of faith.

May be its all wrong, may be its a sin,

May be i've no right to end what I can't begin.

But the choice of life was never mine,

So why should I suffer,

for someone else's crime ?

And now as the edge kisses my skin,

I escape this battle I am never going to win,

The blood gushes out,

On the floor they take her shape;

Her face still lingers on,

Beckons me to join her,

Celebrate the final escape.

Morphine

Intoxicated I am,

Murky delusions captivate,

Silence is the shadowsong

And apparitions dictate....

Hope has met its demise,

Darkness saturates....

Subliminal thoughts deep down deploy,

And memories subjugate.

Immoral secrets and unkept promises,

an anguished past unveils,

Storm clouds shroud the despondent sky,

melancholy prevails.....

On the brink, shadows loom,

Passion’s lost symphony resonates,

In "Agony" I lie

till your sacred touch sedates…..

Emotions the decisive dice,

and distress the rancorous fate,

A moral repentance persuades.

Unheard fables

the wasted mind narrates..

Stars shine and

spiteful obscurity enunciates.

My blood drips recurrently

As the pendulum oscillates,

Colors are my words,

And poetry a gothic portrait...

I bury in recollections

that I penitently eradicate,

Repentance, despair and anxiety,

My extortionate drugs relate...

Silence

A Song without a single sound,

A cry without a wail,

When everything’s mute around,

When words win to fail….,

And then,

Silence starts to speak,

In pure bliss or solace,

A tear down the cheek,

A smile across the face,

When nothing’s said,

Still everything’s heard,

When everything’s laid,

Under silence’s care,…unheard..,

Moments before a gale,

Moments after it strikes out,

& the hearts gotta sail,

in the ocean of silence…let fate sprout,

It wanders & remains,

When a loved one goes far away….,

And you r left alone in the rains….,

Isolated,..Speechless,...each day,

But it incarnates as “best art of conversation”,

'cause even a blink of an eye,

Is the best oration,

And thus Silence will lie,

And Silence will prevail,

When you have got nothing to say,

Silence will say it all………..

Madamoiselle au Rouge

A lonely road,

Moonless night sky,

Heavy steps walked alone,

Of a depressed guy.

At a distance he sees,

A lady in red,

Lost in deep thoughts as she walked,

She looked not a bit scared.

She didn’t notice the guy.

And walked him right past by,

But he had noticed her well,

And also the tears in her eye.

Draped in red satin,

She was fair like the moon,

She had the prettiest pair of eyes,

They could make anybody’s heart swoon.

Eyerybody has a story.

He wondered what hers was.

Had she lost her job as well ?

Or had she lost her love...?

He guessed it was the latter.

And although he wasn’t sure,

All that mattered to him now,

Was to make her feel secure.

He went up to her,

She was shaken back to reality,

She looked him in the eye.

And found a look of assurity.

His eyes reflected his mind

As he managed a wry smile

Saying,” It’s ok not to be fine sometimes,

It happens once a while.”

And as she wept aloud,

For her broken heart that bled,

She felt so much better,

For herself instead.

And so they walk together,

Their silence speaking the unsaid,

Along the lonely road,

The depressed guy.

And the lady in Red.

Hymn to Isis

For I am the first and the last

I am the venerated and the despised

I am the prostitute and the saint

I am the wife and the virgin

I am the mother and the daughter

I am the arms of my mother

I am barren and my children are many

I am the married woman and the spinster

I am the woman who gives birth and she

who never procreated

I am the consolation for the pain of birth

I am the wife and the husband

And it was my man who created me

I am the mother of my father

I am the sister of my husband

And he is my rejected son

Always respect me

For I am the shameful and the magnificent one.

- 3rd or 4th century BC, discovered in Nag Hammadi

Requiem for Darkness

My life stretches before me

An arid wasteland
All alone I stand here
Among mountains of sand

My cold heard beats in mine bosom

Hard as stone, closed to the world,

As I stand alone in this sea of sorrow

Shedding tears of dust

Each breath is laboured

Every step heavier than the last

My mind reminisces about joys once savoured

Yet I am lost in infinite coldness

I yearn for joy, I yearn for love,

I yearn for sorrow, I yearn for pain

I yearn for emotion, something I lost somewhere along,

Nay, for sooth, I threw it away.

After all, I reasoned, who needs emotion?

Love hurts all within its grasp

Anger consumes you like a flame

Regret haunts you ‘til the last of your days

Emotion is a useless thing

Something better to have kept away.

But lo! I beseech you, follow not in mine footsteps

For no longer can I savour the sweet taste

Of love, comradeship, all things good,

Nor can I weep, weep tears of sorrow

(heartfelt of otherwise)

For what I have yearned for, I have become,

A cold emotionless monster.

Alas, for now it is far too late for me to change

For I now stand alone; all have passed me by

Too late for me perhaps, but not for you !

Live your life, live it through,

Be not like me, able to do naught but shed tears of dust,

A cold emotionless monster.