Picking Up The Pieces.....

Breaking up with somebody is so much more than simply having to be away from a person you love. It means a redefinition, a restructuring, a rethinking of so many plans once chalked out. It means taking a look at your life ahead and trying to accommodate the changes you thought you'd never had to make.This however is a frightening prospect.

But, as always life goes on,and so the painful process of moving on must begin. The first step is acceptance. The biggest problem faced by most at this juncture is denial . I was no exception to it either.It is imperative to be realistic. Easier said than done,of course but a careful thinking procedure is in order. Examine the reasons ,the events that led to the whole affair.If incompatibility was the cause , it is necessary to look at exactly how viable a reconciliation would be(This part didn't work for me...).Would the situation really change ? Would things be any different ? Remember ending a a serious relationship is not an easy decision, and therefore, a lot of thought must have gone into it (or did it ?). It happens when two people(or at least one) are unhappy where they are, and the whole purpose in a relationship is defeated if it isn't something that makes you happy(really..??)It is useless to compromise your own well being with what movies have taught you, is the only way to give your life a meaning.

Nothing Else Matters.....

You didn't win the gold, you even lost the silver but after the match yesterday we can proudly salute the home team. After a long sequence of bad luck (match losses and the rain), the Kolkata Knight Riders have finally shown their supporters what it means to play cricket. Their last match with Kings XI Punjab turned out be a harrowing one indeed leading to a nail-biting end. At almost the close of IPL, the 'Men in Black and Gold' still have the largest fan-base, the coolest promos ,the hottest cheerleaders and the largest money spinning capability. The fact that the Riders didn't make it to the semi-finals hardly bothers us for none of the other teams had a comparable sporting spirit . Team spirit is something we are proud of. Even the owner, our very own 'King Khan' refers to his team as the most entertaining team in IPL.What if the Riders did not have their shot at the finals ? What if they didn't win as much as the others ? The 'Knights in shining golden armour' definitely showed chivalry as Knights should. Wins and losses are after all part of the game. If the team plays with all their heart,'Nothing Else Matters' .

A Generation Awakens...

ज़िंदगी जीने के सिर्फ़ दो ही तरीके होते हैं । एक, जो हो रहा है होने दो, बरदाश्त करते जाओ । या फिर ज़िम्मेदारी उठाओ उसे बदलने की। ज़िंदगी जीने के सिर्फ़ दो ही तरीके होते हैं । एक, जो हो रहा है होने दो, बरदाश्त करते जाओ । या फिर ज़िम्मेदारी उठाओ उसे बदलने की। ज़िंदगी जीने के सिर्फ़ दो ही तरीके होते हैं । एक, जो हो रहा है होने दो, बरदाश्त करते जाओ । या फिर ज़िम्मेदारी उठाओ उसे बदलने की। ज़िंदगी जीने के सिर्फ़ दो ही तरीके होते हैं । एक, जो हो रहा है होने दो, बरदाश्त करते जाओ । या फिर ज़िम्मेदारी उठाओ उसे बदलने की।

The way I see it the more one tolertates wrongs the doers remain unaffected. We can sit back , relax and wait for justice or we could take the resposibility unto our own hands. Stand up against Corruption and Malpractices if not for others, for yourself . The only problem with us are that either we are too lazy or that we do not bother to. According to the Constitution of India ,every citizen of the Republic of India has some FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS. These rights are being violated every minute , yet we stay quiet. We have seen numerous instances like Singur, Nandigram and Rizwanur. How much more do we have to see.....???
It is far better to fight against these injustices and perish than to wait and watch helplessly.

I do not ask for violence for it only begets violence. All I ask for is unity for a common cause.
To change the country we need to change ourselves first. Change will come.... We will usher it in...To do this we need to shoulder responsibilities. We are the next generation. Let us awaken....

Of Blogs and Dogs......

Meow. Catfights in the film industry aren't really new.Film history abounds with entertaining examples of how one actress ruined her manicure by pulling out an other's hair.Such altercations are enjoyable for the gossip loving masses- necessary, even , to feel connected to the people behind the larger than life screen images.But sexist or not it's mostly the female celebrities who've given in to their ego and made their dislike for each other in the most spectacular fashion. Like so much else Web 2.0 is changing that.

Bollywood actors now have
lucrative blog deals they need to justify with one scandal creating statement after the other. Perhaps that's why Aamir Khan has given in to the puerile schoolboy in him and bought the house that came-coincidentally of course-with a pet pooch named after his arch rival Shah Rukh Khan. So when Aamir blogged that "Shah Rukh is licking my feet and I am feeding him biscuits now and then", he wasn't trying to send the celebrity obsessed media into a tizzy(yeah right). Even venerable Amitabh Bachchan has waded into the fray with his own potshot at , you guessed it, Shah Rukh Khan.He's displayed his catty side by rechristening Shah Rukh's new quiz show "Paanchvi Fail" and comparing it to its TRPs with his stellar ratings for his Kaun Banega Crorepati.The gloves are off,gauntlets have been thrown and it's daggers at dawn in the virtual world. So let's just wait and watch the battle of the blogs folks....for the off screen war is yet to begin....

Smells like Teen Spirit......

I have this belief that teens and adolescents are thoroughly misunderstood by adults. Sometimes it seems that everything that a teen likes is wrong right from his /her favourite music to his /her favourite colour. According to the multitude of adults today teens think crap,like crap and give themselves away to crap.

If one takes his problems upto a parent figure,he will be showered with advice as to what to do and how to get over it but the suggestions are often not as helpful as the adults think it to be. It is true that we are often reckless and often filled with too much energy. We act first and think later.True, but are all adults always flawless.

All mankind is flawed not just teens as a section of them.Our music tastes are classified as junk. If a poll is conducted worldwide to ascertain whether the genres of music such as ROCK , METAL , RAPCORE , New Age Metal should be abolished ,we all know what the results will be. The popularity of Rock music has encompassed the world yet people say that ROCK music has less audience.Look around you. Metallica, Nirvana , Linkin Park,Green Day , System of a Down and many others have become iconic"Teen Spirit" bands. Language has posed no problem for ROCK music. Bangla Rock is the most happening thing in" Koolkata" these days. The most popular in the Bangla rock scene is none other than Rupam Islam. In his words ....JOY ROCK...

In the Rain....

I see you ,

In the Sunshine,

In the Rain , In the Rain,

You're singing my Love song,

In the Rain......

Strangely enough for mankind, we barely have enough time to stop and stare at ourselves. We have long since stopped to look and learnt to ignore nature's beauty.Since the very beginning of time man had worshipped nature for it's beauty and magnificence. But it seems that nowadays we rarely lift ourselves away from the PC monitor and go upto the window and gaze upon the soft drizzle outside, how the raindrops slip down the surfaces of the leaves into a puddle below. The whooshing of the winds and the sound of thunder perhaps subconciously appeal to our romanticism in ways beyond our imagination. One can stare with awe at the mighty silver lightning as it streaks over the heavens bathing the sky in faint electric blue. Reader, you must be wondering to yourself why and how could a person with so dark a mind be praising nature's beauty. Then again the answer is not so strange and queer either. For once look out of the window to the wet and serene meadows after a downpour and you'll know.....

Aparajito..the Unvanquished.....

This book is my absolute favourite.Written by Bibhutibhushon Bandyapadhyay, it tells the story of life- it's less travelled lanes and by-lanes and undomitable spirit of man. I'll try to make it less boring than a regular book review.Sequel to the aforesaid author's masterpiece Pather Panchali (Song of the Road).

The story begins where it left it in Pather Panchali.
If Pather Panchali talks of the boundless joys of childhood and it's close association with nature then Aparajito deals the slow realisation of the harsh world when an adolescent is growing up.

Aparajito is the manifestation of Apu's struggle for survival in this world littered with poverty, apathy, greed and sorrow.

Even in the midst of sorrow and denial from the world , though briefly,love knocks on his door. Apu responds but future has other things in store for him. He is destined to possess transcendental love but not material love,so romance as materialism is absent. I would'nt try to spoil it if you're reading the book but for those who havent read it, I say to them," Read it once and it will change your perception of life....."

Romance isn't always ethereal. Communion with nature allows transcendental fulfillment of love.....

My Achievements from St.Xavier's.....

Sreeleathers Quiz Trophy(2004)
" The Largest one in the School yet..."




The Centenary Medal for English Essay (2006-2007)

Give it Up for Mike Shinoda....

Invulnerability is a luxury.....

We are Back in Business folks.....

This is my fate....my curse, my blessing

Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me....

Continuing from where I broke off in the last post there was no conversation between us until one fine day she had to destroy the peace of my mind. Out of nowhere she had to pop up and apologise for her mysterious disappearing act and pretend to be devastated herself. She came up with this brilliant joke about 'Friendship' and how badly she needed it that time.Trust me this was all codswallop but I was nursing old wounds and thought it could be a new avenue for me to take but the old road continued farther than I expected it to..... Beneath her overtures of friendship there was a thorn of treachery. Her abominably nosy mother had to interfere and spread rumours defiling my character. As usual of course I didn't give a damn. I couldn't stoop down to her level anyway and have my revenge. I had stopped texting her but she just wouldn't stop.Her persistence was really pissing me off. I often used to ask myself whether she was devoid of intelligence or her retaliation time was really slow because how could one not take the hint after so long.

Slowly my wounds healed but definitely left visible scars. I had given her two chances to reform herself but she ignored them. Therefore it was time she repented . Besides I found no similarity between us anymore so this relationship could nver survive, not anymore....but she would never understand it....

My New formula for Life

Heavy thoughts sift through dust.........

Life in a big crowded city like Kolkata can be gruelling. It's always active with people scarcely having time for themselves. Almost a year and a half ago I had begun my search for someone to bring some vibrancy into my lone dull and derelict life. I was Christmas Day, Last year where all my troubles began.... My mother had a colleague whose husband had suffered from a life threatening automobile accident and her daughter was very upset with it. I was offered to cheer her up by taking her out to a mall. I had always fancied her but never could muster enough courage to tell her. She and I again went out on the 31st. I finally told her and she even confessed having feelings for me. That was the start of a whirlwind romance which barely lasted 4 months but left my insides torn apart and bleeding. I would have consoled myself if that had been the end of it. However memories refuse to set me free from this cage .....

Unfathomed Darkness.......

The Harbinger from Hell and The Angel of Darkness.........

You take away ...And I give in ....

I often had always thought that love in whatsoever form was perfection in life, love made you complete but sometimes its the other way around.It twists and mangles you beyond repair. To many this blog might seem repulsive but then I never said it would be pleasant. Now I understand the true meaning of love. Love is a kind of ague that makes you weak from the inside.You become susceptible to all kinds of traps that you were resistant to.First of all you have an additional resposibility of worrying about your counterpart. However it is much of a burden to worry about oneself let alone others. The lond held belief of the SACRED FEMININE scarcely applies to the modern day women who have almost gotten rid of their feminine instincts and wisdom.They can no longer be personified as ATHENA or SOPHIA , the goddesses of wisdom. Unfaithfulness is perhaps the chief art of a large section of the woman of today.

I had loved but lost more than I could gain but if thats how this mechanism works then what I am today is far better than what I was a year ago.....

The Beginning and End of Illusions..........

I usually dont write much in my diary but once in a blue moon....or may be when I feel that something should be written about. Many claim to know me well......but do they really. Noboby has even an inkling so as to how dark my psyche can be at times. I come to remember this famous quote by Charles Darwin, "A scientist has to be emotionless, faithless and completely reliable on scientific temper."

Yes I am hollow, emotionless . I tore off my heart from my chest,throttled it and flung it on the ground only to stand and slowly bleed.I neither have pain nor sorrow for I am bloodless and my nerve endings beneath my skin have been numbed. I am like a lone warrior treading the less travelled paths in life. My dignity has been crushed and defiled but all that has hardly affected my forward pace and even today I walk alone.......